Incident Records

INCIDENT RECORD 0003: BATHROOM SUPERVISION
Filed under: Incident RecordsClassification: Mandatory Welfare InspectionPrimary Subject: Unidentified Domestic FelineLocation: Upstairs BathroomTime of Incident: 06:41Outcome: Privacy compromised. Inspection completed without consent. There is a widely held belief that bathrooms offer privacy. Current evidence suggests this assumption does not apply in households containing cats. The incident began at approximately 06:41, shortly after waking. The house was quiet. No unusual activity had been recorded overnight, and both food bowls had remained untouched since 23:00. Having completed a routine visual check of the landing, I entered the bathroom and closed the door.... Read more...
INCIDENT RECORD 0002: THE LANDING OBSERVER
Filed under: Incident RecordsClassification: Prolonged Surveillance EventStatus: Accepted into archivePrimary subject: JunoSecondary witness: N/ALocation: Upper landing and staircaseTime of incident: Approximately 21:00 - 00;00Outcome: No physical contact. Significant psychological impact. Not all incidents involve claws. Some involve the growing awareness that you have been watched for considerably longer than you first realised. This record concerns Juno. Unlike Jupiter, whose methods tend to be immediate and direct, Juno operates differently. She rarely blocks doorways. She does not launch surprise attacks from behind furniture. She has little interest in rapid enforcement. Instead,... Read more...
INCIDENT RECORD 0001: THE RADIATOR POSITION
A radiator is only a radiator until a cat discovers that the narrow strip of warmth beneath it offers concealment, comfort, and tactical advantage. At approximately 22:46, I entered the upstairs hallway and identified a dark shape positioned along the skirting board. Initial assessment suggested laundry. This assessment was incorrect. Jupiter had taken position by the radiator. Read more...